Full list of jokes
A man walked into the bar and there was a gorillasitting on a barstool.The man asked the bartender what the gorilla wasdoing in the bar so the bartender showed him. Hetook out a bat and hit the gorilla over the headwith it. The animal instantly dropped down andgave the bartender blow job.The Bartender then asked the man if he would liketo try it.The man said "Sure, but please don't hit me quiteso hard".Link to joke: A man walked into the bar...
A man walks in to a doctors office and says, "Doctor you must help me. I have AIDS." The doctor replies, "Are you gay?" The man answers "yes." The doctor says, "I think I can help. Go to the grocery store, buy a box of laxatives and a quart of prune juice.Take ALL of the laxatives and drink ALL of the prune juice. Take a nap for a couple of hours. When you wake up your problem will be solved." The man answers, "Will that cure my AIDS?" The doctor replies, "No, but you will find out what your ass hole is really for!"Link to joke: A man walks in to a...
A man walks into a bank and says he wants to borrow$200 for six months. The loan officer asks him whatkind of collateral he has. The man says 'I've got aRolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off-- here are the keys.' Six months later the man comes into the bank, paysback the $200 loan, plus $10 interest, and regainspossession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, 'Sir, if I may ask, whywould a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrowtwo hundred dollars?' The man answers, 'I had to go to Europe for six months,and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for thatlong for ten dollars?'Link to joke: A man walks into a bank...
A man walks into a bar and orders two drinks. As thebartender watches he drinks one drink and pours the otherone on his hand. He orders two more drinks and does thesame thing. The third time the bartender asks him what'sgoing on. "Why are you pouring that drink on your hand"? Theman smiles at him, winks and says "I'm trying to get my datedrunk."Link to joke: A man walks into a bar...
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear."What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."Link to joke: A man walks into a doctor's...
A man walks into a doctor's office with a frog stuck to his head.Doctor: How did this happen?Frog: It started with a bump on my ass.Link to joke: A man walks into a doctor's...
A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend's caris total loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches,dirt and blood. He asks his friend,"What's happened to your car?""Well," the friend responses, "I ran into a lawyer"."OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt?""Well, I had to chase him all through the park."Link to joke: A man walks into a friend...
A man walks into a jewellers shop, unzips his trousers and placeshis tool upon the counter. The lady serving says: "I'm sorry Sir,this is a clock shop not a cock shop." "Well, put two hands and a face on this." replies the man.Link to joke: A man walks into a jewellers...
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the storelaughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there'sno law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, andonce again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest ofthe pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a rubber, anyway?So he tells his clerk, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow himto see where he goes."Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, startscracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his clerk to go follow theguy.About an hour later, the clerk comes back to the store."Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.The clerk replies "Your house."Link to joke: A man walks into a pharmacy,...
The following was contributed by Emil:A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman,"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! -- I'll have alarge whiskey please, barman." The man takes his whiskey and downs it. "Same again?" asks the barman. "Okay" says the man and downs the second. He then orders a third and a forth and downs them both.In fact in totalhe downs 27 whiskeys. "Do you want another?" asks the barman. "No I don't think so", says the man, "If 27 whiskeys won't take away the tasteI don't think that another one will!"Link to joke: The following was contributed by Emil:A...
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