Full list of jokes
Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?Patient: What problem?Link to joke: Patient: Doctor, I have a serious...
A midget walks into the doctors and says, "Doc, I've got these fuckingitchy balls and I can't do anything to stop 'em itching".The Doc says, "I can see the problem and I'll fix it for ya"So the Doc pulls out a pair of scissors and tells the Midget to close his eyes. The midget hears snip, snip snip noises for about 5 minutes.The doc finishes and says, "How's that?"The midget says, "Fucking brilliant, what did you do?"The Doc says, "I trimmed back your high boots"Link to joke: A midget walks into the doctors...
When the milkman found a note on one of his customer'sdoors asking for 16 gallons instead of the usual quart,he rang the bell."Sorry to bother you, ma'am," he said, "but are you sureyou want sixteen gallons of milk today?""Oh, yes," said the lady of the house. "I'm going to takea milk bath.""Do you want it pasteurized?""No, just up to my tits would be fine."Link to joke: When the milkman found a note...
A minister was asked by a politician,"Name something the government can do to help the church."The minister replied, "Quit making one dollar bills."Link to joke: A minister was asked by a...
A mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea. The mother wants to show her daughter that she's a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it's like for her. Mom: So....now that you have started dating, what's it like getting intimate with young men? Daughter: Oh you know how it is, boys are always insensitive and never care if intimacy isn't working for me. Mom: How? Daughter: Oh, stuff.... Mom: Really now, you can trust me. I think that its important for mothers and daughters to talk about these matters... Daughter: I don't know..... Mom: Now don't forget, I was a teenager once and I can remember what dating boys was like for me, believe I remember Daughter: Really? Mom: Really... Daughter: Ok, for starters, how did you get their cum out of your eyes?Link to joke: A mother and daughter are sitting...
A mute was walking down the street one day and chanced upon a friend ofhis, also a mute. In sign language, he inquired how his friend had beendoing. The friend replied (vocally!) "Oh, can that hand-waving shit. I can talk now."Intrigued, the mute pressed him for details. Seems he had gone to aspecialist, who, seeing no physical damage, had put him on a treatmentprogram that had restored the use of his vocal chords.Gesturing wildly, the mute asked if he might meet this specialist. Theygot an appointment that very afternoon.After an exam, the specialist proclaimed that he had found no permanentdamage. The mute was essentially in the same condition as his buddy,and that there was no reason why he couldn't be helped as well."Yes, yes" signed the mute. "Let's have the first treatment right now!""Very well," replied the specialist."Kindly go into the next room, dropyour pants and lean over the examining table. I'll be right in."The mute does as instructed, and the doctor sneaked in carrying abroomstick, mallet and jar of Vaseline. Greasing the broom handle, he'sent it home' with a deft swipe of the mallet.The mute jumped from the table, screaming, "AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa!!!""VERY good," smiled the doctor. "Next Tuesday, we work on 'B'."Link to joke: A mute was walking down the...
A naive young girl goes into the doctor's office. She says, "Doc, I'm getting married and I'm a little inexperienced, so I'd like to ask you a few questions." He says, "All right." She says, "All right...what is that thing that hangs between my fiancé's legs?" The doctor says, "That's the penis. The male organ, the penis." She says, "Okay. And what is that big red knob at the end?" The doctor says, "That's the glans. The head of the penis, the glans." She says, "Okay. And what are those two round things, about twelve inches behind the head?" The doctor says, "Well, lady, I don't know about your fiancé, but on me, they're the cheeks of my ass."Link to joke: A naive young girl goes into...
The 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' franchise has a new Bucketof Chicken out. It's called the 'Hillary Clinton Bucket.'It contains two small breasts and two large thighs.Link to joke: The 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' franchise has...
Aspirin makes a great contraceptive. Jhold it between your knees.Link to joke: Aspirin makes a great contraceptive. Jhold...
A new medical study has shown that a woman's breast-feeding isn't adversely affected by aerobics. It was found, however, to be pretty distracting to guys in the class.Link to joke: A new medical study has shown...
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