Full list of jokes
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatolegical abnormalities." "That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks. "Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps of breast cancer." "That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."Link to joke: A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to...
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.The doctor took one look at this woman and all hisprofessionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she haddisrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doingso, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasionsor dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," saidthe doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Doyou know what I'm doing now?" he asked."Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps orbreast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor.Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexualintercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doingnow?""Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I camehere in the first place."Link to joke: A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to...
Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below.He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters look up and they both fire their double barrel shotguns at him.When the hang glider was out of sight one of the hunters turns to the other and says "What kinda bird you reckon that was?"The other hunter replies "I don't rightly know, but I think we hit it."How's that?""You saw how fast he dropped that man he was caring, didn't ya?Link to joke: Once upon a time there was...
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to theblind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind, and can't read themenu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previouscustomer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirtydish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns tothe blind man's table and hands it to him. The blindman puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deepbreath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf andmashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walkstowards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner'swife and he tells her what had just happened. The blindman eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the ownermistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me?I'm the blind man.""I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you adirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it tothe blind man. After another deep breath, the blind mansays, "That smells great, I'll take the Macarroni andchesse with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief,the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with himand tells his wife that the next time the blind man comesin he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner see'shim coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Maryrub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blindman walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already havethe fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff andsays, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"Link to joke: A blind man walks into a...
A boat load filled with Viagra sank in Baltimore Harbor.They could not get the draw bridges down for a week.Link to joke: A boat load filled with Viagra...
Bumper sticker seen in Cambridge, Mass: "Re-elect President Gore in 2000"Link to joke: Bumper sticker seen in Cambridge, Mass:...
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named "Clint", and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to Clint, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?" Clint says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. Clint grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with Clint. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can only think of one thing." The second day, the chief says, "What your wish today?" Clint says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. Clint leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse's ear, then slaps it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the Clint. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man - going to die tomorrow and can only think of one thing." The last day comes, and the chief says, "This your last wish, white man. What you want?" Clint says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. Clint grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, "Read my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"Link to joke: A bunch of Indians capture a...
A bus filled with politicians was driving through thecountryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver,caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control andcrashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash andrushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicianshe buries them. The next day, the police come to the farm to question theman. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the policeofficer. "Were they all dead?" The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but youknow how politicians lie."Link to joke: A bus filled with politicians was...
A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I have to warn you though, there will be alot of drinking at this party. The city slicker said no problem. There will also be sex going on. No problem he responded. Well, There will probably be some fighting too. I think I can handle myself, claimed the new neighbor. As he rode off, he turned and asked the party host. "By the way, what should I wear at the party" The man, responded "Oh, it don't matter, It's only going to be me and you!"Sent by ChrisLink to joke: A business man from New York...
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up." "That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw, come on," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset." "Don't be foolish !" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?" "Under the wagon."Link to joke: It seems a farm boy accidentally...