A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment."I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all.""Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget.The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her.Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times."If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"
Link to joke: A tall woman met a midget...

A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney,feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle ofhundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied."The judge'll kill me. Trying to bribe him! We're dead!""I don't think so," his attorney told him. "I sent it in the other lawyer's name!"
Link to joke: A tough case was being argued...

Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry,but I'm going to have to let one of you go."Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority."Female Employee: "And I'm a woman."Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with anage discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young,white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds:"I think I might be gay..."
Link to joke: Boss, to four of his employees:...

A tourist from Albegestan goes on his first overseas trip.Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled filling his visaapplication. The border official look s over his shoulder,and sees the tourist trying to write 'Twice a week' intothe small space labeled 'SEX'. The official explains: "No, no, no. That is not what wemean by this question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female'." "Doesn't matter," the tourist answers.
Link to joke: A tourist from Albegestan goes on...

A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturantin Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the bestcountry in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says,"Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in frontof the White House in Washington D.C. and yell 'PresidentClinton is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." TheCuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. Icould stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing andnothing would be done to me too!"
Link to joke: A tourist from the United States...

A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner the price. "Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and an extra thousand for the story behind it." "At that price, you can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the bronze rat." The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars... following him. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill he panics and starts to run full tilt. No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes racing to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a lamp post, grasping it with one arm, while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay as far as he can throw it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown. Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop. "Ah sir, you've come back for the story," says the owner. "No," says the tourist, "I was just hoping you had a bronze sculpture of a lawyer "
Link to joke: A tourist wanders into a back-alley...

A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to givehim hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot paintedon his dash and asks him what it's for. He replies "Oh that's aconversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lotsof pussy that way" The other driver thinks that's a great idea so hepaints a red spot on his dash too. Then he sees a girl hitchhiking sohe picks her up. She notices the red spot on the dash and asks himwhat it's for. He says "It's a conversation piece. You wanna fuck?"
Link to joke: A truck driver breaks down and...

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks."Feeling fine," says the old man."What's the food like?""Terrific, wonderful menus.""And the nursing?""Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you.""What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?""No problem at all --- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet, and that's it. I go out like a light."The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes off to question the Nurse in charge. "What are you people doing?" he asks. "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?""Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him rolling out of bed."
Link to joke: A man goes to visit his...

A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist.She walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely.I don't have any friends, no man will come near me, and everybody laughs at me.Can you help me accept my ugliness?""I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
Link to joke: A very homely young woman made...

A little girl asks her father, "where do little girls come from?" The father says, "they come from a hard-on." The little girl then asks her father, "where does a hard-on come from?" The father says, "little girls!"
Link to joke: A little girl asks her father,...

« previous 1 2 … 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 … 123 124 next »

• Homepage
• Full list of jokes

• Everybody's doing it
• George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC...
• Book shelf
• What's the definition of the perfect woman?
• A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters...