Full list of jokes
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, andrepeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'llhave lost at least 5 pounds."When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly20 pounds."Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow myinstructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going todrop dead that third day.""From hunger, you mean?""No, from skipping."Link to joke: A woman was terribly overweight, so...
A woman went to the bar with a black eye."How'd ya get that?" asked the bartender."From my husband," she replied."But I thought he was out of town?" he asked."So did I!" she said.Link to joke: A woman went to the bar...
A WOMAN'S SCHEDULE1. Get up. 2. Pee. 3. Drink raspberry-cranberry tea. 4. Pee. 5. Apply makeup. Pee first so you don't have to stop in the middle. 6. Drive to work. Pee at gas station. Complain about dirty restroom. Go to a different gas station and pee there. 7. Get to work at Burger King. Pee. Wash hands. 8. Lunch. Slimfast. Pee. 9. Arrive home. Pee. Shower. Pee. 10. Promise sex to husband. Pee. Get up in the middle of sex and pee. 11. Pee. Go to bed. Get up at 3 A.M. waking husband but instead of giving him head, go and pee.Link to joke: A WOMAN'S SCHEDULE1. Get up. 2....
A neighbor of mine, Myron, in his mid-50's, had a relatively minorheart attack, and while he was in the hospital, he complained to his cardiologist that he thought that his sex life was over. Thecardiologist said, "Not true, Myron. Sex is wonderful exercise for your heart. After you get home, you should have sex 3 or 4 times a week. It'llbe the best thing you can do for your recovery."So after his discharge (from the hospital), Myron tells his wife whatthe doctor had said. His wife looked at him and told him, "That's wonderful, Myron! Sign me up for twice."Link to joke: A neighbor of mine, Myron, in...
A worldwide survey has been carried out with the following question:"PLEASE, GIVE US YOUR OPINION ON THE LACK OF FOOD IN THE REST OF THEWORLD"No result was achieved, since the following problems were facedduring the survey's implementation:1. In Western Europe no one knew what is "lack"2. In Africa no one knew what is "food"3. In Eastern Europe no one knew what is "opinion"4. In South America no one knew what is "please"5. In the USA no one knew what is "rest of the world"Link to joke: A worldwide survey has been carried...
A young boy was visiting his grandfather's farm whenone day he walks out behind the barn and sees hisgrandfather playing with himself.The boy says, "What are you doing grandpa, jacking off?"Grandpa replies, "No sonny, just jacking!"Link to joke: A young boy was visiting his...
A young girl goes to the gynecologist and he examines her.He says,"You have acute vaginitis."She says "Thank you."Link to joke: A young girl goes to the...
A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. "Young lady," the doctor began, "you're pregnant.""But that can't be. The only men I've been with are nudists and in, our colony we practice sex only with our eyes.""Well my dear," said the doctor, "someone in that colony is cockeyed."Link to joke: A young girl had not been...
A young girl is speaking with her father."Daddy, what's that between your legs?""That's my hedgehog.""Wow, it's got a massive cock."Link to joke: A young girl is speaking with...
A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. "Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.She tells this to her mother, who replies, "Did he say anything about that dead branch they're hanging on?"Link to joke: A young girl sees her father...
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