Full list of jokes
A young woman on a rough Atlantic crossing was in her cabin undressing then suddenly she was overcome by sea sickness. In a panic she rushed into the corridor and headed for the bathroom. It was not until she collided with an elderly gentleman that she realized she didn't have a stitch of clothing on.Horrified, she let out a shriek.Her fellow sufferer looked at her sadly. "Don't let it bother you,miss," he moaned. "I'll never live to tell anyone."Link to joke: A young woman on a rough...
A young woman stops into her local pharmacy to pick a supply of tampons for herself. She goes to the aisle where they are located and sees they are priced at five boxes for one dollar. Thinking this is a misprint; she finds a clerk and asks if this can possibly be the correct price. The clerk replies, "Yes it is the correct price. For one week only, you can purchase five boxes of tampons for one dollar, no strings attached."Link to joke: A young woman stops into her...
A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do what the doctor said. As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive 'yes, yes' type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again. Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much liquid before going to bed. "So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?" "Well," said the doctor, "my wife is right, a beard would suit me."Link to joke: A young woman visited her doctor...
An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phoney beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?""Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life." "But you look like Abe Lincoln," protested the barkeep."That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."Link to joke: An older man wearing a stovepipe...
A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat.They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from theRussians before the new government kicked them out. "The Russians builtus a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drinkvodka and play Russian roulette."The American frowned. "Russian roulette's not a very nice game." Thediplomat smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If youwant to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play."I'll show you how."He pushed a buzzer, and a moment later, six magnificently built, nudewomen were ushered in. "You can choose any one of those women to giveyou oral sex," he told the American."That's great," the ambassador said, "but it doesn't seem much likeRussian roulette.""Oh, it is. One of them is a cannibal."Link to joke: A new American ambassador was being...
After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked.So they went to a doctor, and got checked over.The doctor took time to reassure them. "Don't worry," he said, "Just takethis sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow."So he went home feeling better, and went back the next day with his littlebottle. It was empty. The doctor looked at the bottle carefully, " Problems?" he said. "Have I ever had problems, doc.!" the man replied. " I went home andstraight upstairs, and worked at it for over half an hour. Both hands. Itell you doc, my hands got too sore to hold it! I had to get the wifeupstairs and she had a go. But even she, with all her experience, couldn'tdo it. " "So what did you do?" said the doctor. " We had a discussion, and got the mother-in-law involved. I was sureshe'd manage it, but it was no go, even when she used her mouth. And doc,she tried with her teeth in, and her teeth out!!" "But nothing we tried would get the top off that bloody bottle!!!!!"Link to joke: After a couple of years a...
After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband "Wasmaking love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?""Yes, she's dead to!""Was making love to me really the same as makinglove to Marilyn Monroe?""Yes, she's dead to!"Link to joke: After their love-making session the young...
After years of psychotherapy, John no longer believeshe is a grain of wheat. However, one day he and afriend came across a chicken, and John was terrified."Why are you so afraid, you're not a grainof wheat after all," his friend asked.John replied, "You know it and I know it,but the chicken doesn't know it."Sent by MarcLink to joke: After years of psychotherapy, John no...
After years with a psychiatrist, a man who thought he was a dog was declared cured. A friend asked him how he felt now. The former patient replied, "Fine! Just feel my nose."Link to joke: After years with a psychiatrist, a...
A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women.""Yeah what happened?" asked his friend.The first guy replies, "Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle."Link to joke: A guy says, "I remember the...
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