Full list of jokes
One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the watercooler at the office. "Veronica, I just don't know what to do," Gloria said to her friend at work. "That good-looking Alex in accounting asked me out on a date for Saturday night. Should I go?""Oh, my God!" her friend exclaimed. "He'll wine you, dine you, and thenuse any ruse to get you up to his apartment. Then he'll rip off yourdress and you'll have fantastic s*x!""What should I do?" asked Gloria.Her friend quickly replied, "Wear an old dress."Link to joke: One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were...
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. "When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral," Joe began. "You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow. "I walked up the trail to the door," Joe continued. "The sidewalk to the door," Charlie corrected him. "Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on. "That would be the usher," Charlie explained. "Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said. "You mean the aisle," Charlie said. "Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there," Joe continued. "Pew," Charlie retorted. "Yeah," recalled Joe. "That's what that pretty lady said when I sat down beside her."Link to joke: Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow...
Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation." "I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"Link to joke: Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist...
Cronin goes to a barber shop to get his hair cut. The barber cuts his hair, and after he gets done, as Cronin gets up and is taking out his money, the barber goes over and takes a leak in the corner of the barber shop. The barber finishes and comes back.As Cronin hands him a twenty-dollar bill, he says, "Listen, it's...it's none of my business, but...why would you take a piss in the corner of your barber shop?"The barber says, "Hey, my lease is up in two weeks...do I care?"The barber goes over to the cash register, rings up the haircut, and comes back with Cronin's change. When he comes back, Cronin's standing there taking a shit on the floor.The barber says, "What are you doing?"Cronin says, "Well, fuck, I'm leaving now."Link to joke: Cronin goes to a barber shop...
"Darling," she whispered after they had finished making love, "Will you still make love like that to me after we're married ?"He considered this for a moment, and then replied, "I think so. I've always been especially fond of married women."Link to joke: "Darling," she whispered after they had...
Age DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE 17 "Burger King" 25 "Free meal" 35 "A diamond" 48 "A bigger diamond" 66 "Home Alone"Link to joke: Age DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE...
Definition of bad lover:An earthquake occurs during sex. Afterwards he asks the woman if she felt the earth move. She says no.Link to joke: Definition of bad lover:An earthquake occurs...
Definition:Politics Poli (Poly): Many.... Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creaturesLink to joke: Definition:Politics Poli (Poly): Many.... Tic(k)s: Blood...
This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells,"Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democraton my front porch and he's playing with himself.""What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Democrat on myfront porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him andI'm afraid! Please send the police!" the little old lady repeated."Well, now, how do you know he's a Democrat?""Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, he'd be screwingsomebody!"Link to joke: This little old lady calls 911....
Democrats V. Republicans What it all boils down to ISSUE | DEMOCRATS | REPUBLICANS-------------------------------------------------------------------criminals | Give them a second | Give them the swift | chance | sword of death-------------------------------------------------------------------the poor | Give them some food | Give them the swift | | sword of death-------------------------------------------------------------------endangered | give them protection | Give them the swiftspecies | | sword of death-------------------------------------------------------------------dictators | give them a way out | Give them the swift | | sword of death-------------------------------------------------------------------the uninsured | Give them some | Given them the swift | health care | sword of death-------------------------------------------------------------------the cost | $9,000,000,000, | $29.95 | 000,000,000 | (cost of one sword)-------------------------------------------------------------------Link to joke: Democrats V. Republicans What it all...
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