Full list of jokes
A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. He asks, "Can I have a dozen condoms, Miss?" "Don't Miss me, mister." "Well then, you better make it 13."Link to joke: A guy walks into a drugstore...
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing atthe counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with heartsall over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all overthem.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man andasks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cardssigned, 'Guess who?'""But why?" asks the man."I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.Link to joke: A guy walks into a post...
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?" The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!" "Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."Link to joke: A guy walks into an elevator...
A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a costume. Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor."What the hell happened?" asked a friend who had witnessed the entire event."I'm not really sure." the man replied, rubbing his red cheek. "When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it."Link to joke: A guy was attending a masquerade...
A guy was sitting in a bar when a strangerwalked up to him and asked, "If you woke upin the woods and scratched your buttand felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?""Hell no!" the guy said.The stranger then asked, "If you felt further into yourcrack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?"The man said, "Of course not.""Wanna go camping?"Link to joke: A guy was sitting in a...
A guy's fingering his girlfriend.She says, "Would you take off your ring? It's hurting me."He says, "That's not my ring...It's my wristwatch."Link to joke: A guy's fingering his girlfriend.She says,...
A guy's on the electric chair. The warden's just about to pull the switchwhen the guy gets the hiccups. The warden says, "Do you have any lastrequests?" The guy says, "(hic) Yeah... (hic) could you please do (hic)could you please do something to scare me?"Link to joke: A guy's on the electric chair....
An elderly man thinking his wife was losing her hearing went about20' behind her and asked "Can you hear me sweetheart"?. No reply. Moved to 10' and inquired again. No reply. 5' and not a word. A few inches behind ear, he asked "Can you hear me now honey"? His wife said "For the fourth time, yes."Link to joke: An elderly man thinking his wife...
A hill country husband died and left everything to his wife.He put a provision in his will though that she couldn't touchany of it until she turned 14.Link to joke: A hill country husband died and...
A horny young man went to a brothel... The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available. Madam, "On the first floor, we have the ex-models... they are all slinky and sexy... On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses...they are all buxom and beautiful... On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers.... they..."Man, "Say no more! Lead me to the third floor."Madam, "Are you sure... I'm surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to ex-models and ex-actresses."Man, "It's obvious, ma'am, teachers always make you do a thing over and over again, until you're perfect at it."Link to joke: A horny young man went to...
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